Why Your Parents Act Like That (Part 1)
This is for our youth. But, of course, parents can eavesdrop :-)
Ever wondered why your parents act like that? That there are times you feel out of sync with them? Allow me to share the “Seven Ways to Understand Your Parents,” which I heard a few days ago in “Family Matters” (a radio program hosted by Rev. Clem Guillermo and Carmen Go-Vargas aired every Monday to Friday, 9:30AM, over 702 DZAS AM).
First, you have to understand that there is no school for parenting. A billboard got it right: “When a child is born, a parent is born.” Yes, there are excellent books and seminars in parenting. But, knowing how to parent is different from actually doing it.
Second, your parents were “victims,” too. Their parents also “experimented” on them. So, either your parents are parenting you the way they were parented (that’s the only way they know how) or they were trying to do it differently. I know it is not good to feel like a lab rat. But, at least, thank them for the effort. They tried. Yes, they are giving it their best shot. This brings me to the next point.
Third, they love you so much. But they just don’t know any better. If you think you know, try parenting yourself for a day. That doesn’t mean they are clueless. But a child is not a computer that predictably responds to certain keystrokes. There are times that, even if the parents apply the right “formula,” even if the parents know what they are doing, their children may not respond as expected. Parenting is something you do on the job. You learn it along the way. Parenting is an art, not an exact science. That makes parenting hard.
As leadership guru John Maxwell said, “It takes a team to make a dream work.” Be on your parent’s team. If you look at them closely, you will discover that they have been rooting for you all along. Teenagers usually whine that their parents don’t understand them. But have you tried understanding your parents also? It’s a mutual thing, you know.
My take? Please give your parents a break.
Ever wondered why your parents act like that? That there are times you feel out of sync with them? Allow me to share the “Seven Ways to Understand Your Parents,” which I heard a few days ago in “Family Matters” (a radio program hosted by Rev. Clem Guillermo and Carmen Go-Vargas aired every Monday to Friday, 9:30AM, over 702 DZAS AM).
First, you have to understand that there is no school for parenting. A billboard got it right: “When a child is born, a parent is born.” Yes, there are excellent books and seminars in parenting. But, knowing how to parent is different from actually doing it.
Second, your parents were “victims,” too. Their parents also “experimented” on them. So, either your parents are parenting you the way they were parented (that’s the only way they know how) or they were trying to do it differently. I know it is not good to feel like a lab rat. But, at least, thank them for the effort. They tried. Yes, they are giving it their best shot. This brings me to the next point.
Third, they love you so much. But they just don’t know any better. If you think you know, try parenting yourself for a day. That doesn’t mean they are clueless. But a child is not a computer that predictably responds to certain keystrokes. There are times that, even if the parents apply the right “formula,” even if the parents know what they are doing, their children may not respond as expected. Parenting is something you do on the job. You learn it along the way. Parenting is an art, not an exact science. That makes parenting hard.
As leadership guru John Maxwell said, “It takes a team to make a dream work.” Be on your parent’s team. If you look at them closely, you will discover that they have been rooting for you all along. Teenagers usually whine that their parents don’t understand them. But have you tried understanding your parents also? It’s a mutual thing, you know.
My take? Please give your parents a break.
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