Attract, Not Attack (Part 1)

Image source: Yahoo! Philippines OMG!

Disclosure #1: I haven’t watched a single episode of the daring gay-themed “My Husband’s Lover” (MHL) teleserye. GMA-7 TV Network took a risky, bold move when it came out with the series about three weeks ago. “The controversial series tells the story of Vincent ([played by actor] Tom Rodriguez), a closeted gay who chose to marry his girlfriend Lally (Carla Abellana) after he got her pregnant in college. But Tom’s heart only beats for his greatest love, Eric (Dennis Trillo).” (Source: Yahoo! Philippines OMG!) I don’t watch the series not because of its storyline but because I simply have no taste and time for soap.

Disclosure #2: I have gay and lesbian friends. We agreed to disagree. I believe they know my stance regarding the homosexual lifestyle. They know I am a pastor. However, I treat them with loving respect. And I felt the same in return.

Image source: Remate

Predictably, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) immediately questioned MHL. Fr. Kunegundo Garganta, the executive secretary of the CBCP’s Episcopal Commission on Youth executive secretary, cautioned the writers of such shows. In an interview over Catholic Radio Veritas, Garganta called for restraint. “Malaking pag-aaral ang dapat na gawin sa mga bagong teleserye tulad ng My Husband’s Lover na sana maisaalang-alang na nasa isang bansa tayo na mayroong kultura na pinapahalagahan ang usaping moral o mga bagay na saklaw ng moralidad. Ito ang dapat na isaalang-alang ng mga gumagawa ng teleserye.” (In English, “Exhaustive studies should be done on new TV series like ‘My Husband’s Lover.’ Hopefully, it would consider that we are in a country where we value moral issues or matters about morality. Those who produce these TV series should take that into consideration.”) (Ibid)

GMA-7 defended the show. “We believe that our program, while tackling sensitive real-life situations, is produced with utmost prudence and in good taste. …[The Kapuso Network] would like to assure the Filipino audience that we will continue to produce relevant and entertaining programs.” (Source: Rappler) The Movie and Television Review and Classification Board gave the series an SPG (strong parental guidance) rating.

I feel that it’s premature for the CBCP to criticize MHL. The series is only more than three weeks old. And we don’t really know how the story would play out in the end. It only skyrocketed its already high ratings and it caused an unwanted backlash against CBCP.

GMA-7's reaction to the CBCP. From the Facebook page of "My Husband's Lover."
Image source: Rappler

MHL is a classic “art-imitates-life.” In short, it only portrayed what’s going on in the society. I don’t have statistics as to how rampant it is, though. But, no doubt, there are MHL situations. 

Of course, I believe CBCP is only doing its moral duty. CBCP is afraid that it would encourage more people to experiment on such a lifestyle, that life would end up imitating art. It is a “would,” not a “could.” It’s not an “if” but a “when.” It’s not an unfounded fear. In her “Gays, lesbians and soap operas” posted on her “At Large” column, Rina Jimenez-David opined that “pop culture is often a harbinger of culture change. Weeks before the US Supreme Court struck down antigay marriage laws, Time magazine ran an article tracking the speedy and dizzying change in American public opinion regarding gay marriage, mentioning gay-themed TV shows or at least shows with prominent gay characters. … maybe, and this is a faint hope, the TV audience has moved on from its obsession with social acceptability and now dares explore social issues that challenge our previously ironclad verities? These are valid questions that go way beyond TV ratings or the creative process behind TV dramas.”  (Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer) 

Image source: Starmometer

So, how do we respond to this moral culture clash? (To my gay and lesbian friends, this is the point where I preach to the proverbial choir. You may read on but please bear in mind I’m talking to them, not you.) I believe we should attract, not attack. We should pull, not push. We can be aggressive without being abrasive. The Gospel is offensive enough. (1 Corinthians 1:18) Our Lord Jesus Christ’s call to follow Him indeed challenges our pride. But we are not to make it more offensive with the way we deal with those who disagree with us. Yes, the truth hurts. Yet, we must not rub salt on the wound.

The Apostle Paul commanded us, “Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6, NLT) I am not saying that the CBCP was not gracious. (I haven’t heard the radio interview. Garganta might have spoken in a loving tone.) What I am saying is that there is a much better way to express our principles. 

Instead of merely condemning the MHL lifestyle, I think we should concentrate on strengthening the Filipino family. When we call people to abandon their lifestyle, what do we offer as an alternative? If they look at our marriages, would they like what they see? Or, would they say, “I think I prefer mine over yours”? Would they see that call as a jump from the frying pan to the fire? Or, would they see it as a better, if not the best, choice over what they are enjoying now? When we practice what we preach, we could preach what we practice. We earn the right to be heard.

Since people now dare to discuss sensitive social issues, (or in David’s words, “challenge our previously ironclad verities”) we should not miss out by default on this opportunity. We are to engage the culture. With the MHL as a springboard, we can launch intellectual but interesting discussions on such issues with the LGBT community. In my experience with my friends from that community, they are willing to listen if we are also willing to do so. Both sides must get rid of stereotypes and engage with mutual respect.

My take? Attract, not attack. 

Read Part 2.