“Couples who say ‘we’ fare better in fights” than those who don’t, according to the September 2009 issue of the Psychology and Aging journal (Source: LiveScience.com). “The study found that using personal pronouns, such as ‘we,’ ‘our’ and ‘us,’ when talking about a conflict was associated with more positive behaviors between the pair, such as affection, less negative behavior (like anger), and lower physiological stress levels during the disagreement. On the other hand, using words that expressed ‘separateness,’ such as ‘I,’ ‘you,’ and ‘me,’ during the discussion was associated with marital dissatisfaction.” Study researcher Benjamin Seider, a graduate student in psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, opined, “Our thinking is that, using the ‘we’ words in that context can maybe help realign the couple, and help them to see themselves as being on the same team as opposed to adversaries”. Couples need to see that they are fighting for each other than against one another.
I think it’s the same thing with church. This Sunday morning in both the English and the Amoy-English Worship Services of Makati Gospel Church, Rev. Harg Ang will talk about “The Art of War” in his ongoing exposition of Ephesians, particularly the armor of God passage in 6:10-20. Our Lord Jesus already won the war. It’s really over. However, the enemy is still waging a desperate guerilla battle. One of his usual attacks is sowing disunity among the brethren. Thus, we need to see ourselves “as being on the same team as opposed to adversaries.” We are to fight for each other than against one another. The context of our passage is the church as the body of Christ. Paul was not addressing individual believers but the church as a whole. So, we are not supposed to fight on our own. We are to fight together. Going back to the couples study, “the researchers also found that older couples used more ‘we’ words, a result suggesting couples who have been together longer have developed a stronger shared identity with their partners than younger couples.” Spiritually speaking, we already have a shared identity in Christ. We fight from that position of strength. The Christian life is not just a call to believe but also a call to belong. We are not just to be concerned with our personal growth but also our corporate growth as well. We are one with Christ and with each other.
Brethren, we are in this battle together.